Umbrellas
by kikuuku
Summary: The Shinigami have rented a house near Karakura Town, and are exploring the surrounding area- in the rain.  Pairings include UkiUno, ShunNan, HitsuHina,and YoruKisu. Crack-ish.  Please review!
1. Chapter 1

~Author's Note: It's my first fic X) This is sooo exciting! **squees** um, yeah. I wrote this because I love the rain and I love umbrellas ^^ It's slightly crack-fic-y, just because of the setting. It takes place in a town near Karakura. For some reason or other, the shinigami rented a house there... maybe so they have a place to stay while they're on missions or something... I'll leave it up to your imagination :-)

I'll be uploading a second chapter at some point. Read and Review- please!

The pairings here include UkiUno (my OTP), ShunNan, HitsuHina, YoruKisu, and (sort of) HisagiXMatsumoto, although I really very much prefer MatsuGin. I just can't write Gin.~

Chapter 1

It started to rain hard during the night, and they were unsurprised to see that it had not ceased by morning. Over a simple breakfast in the spacious rental-house kitchen, the eleven of them discussed rain gear.  
It was Unohana who started the conversation, calmly and practically, by stating that she did not think the owners of the rental house had left a spare umbrella on hand anywhere.

Soifon snorted. "Who needs an umbrella? Umbrellas are pointless. They ruin all the fun of getting wet."  
Unohana looked at her serenely while scrubbing the oatmeal tureen with a sponge. "Seeing as it is almost November, and quite cold here, I believe it makes sense to avoid getting wet. Getting a chill would surely ruin the enjoyment of relaxing in the real world."  
Soifon gulped. "I suppose you're right", she said, taking out remaining aggressions on her toast with a butter knife.  
At this point, the others had lost interest and turned to a variety of other subjects. Shuuhei, Kisuke, and Toushirou were discussing real-world soccer so enthusiastically and violently that they were given a wide berth by Hinamori, who returned from the fridge with a glass of milk and sat down between Nanao and Matsumoto. Matsumoto was discussing something that sounded suspiciously like alcohol with Kyouraku. As a result, both were being glared at by Nanao."For heavens _sake, _Rangiku, don't _encourage_ him", she groaned.  
Ukitake was helping Unohana by drying the dishes, and Yoruichi was sprawled on a couch in the next room, fast asleep."She's a cat", said Urahara. "Rainy days make her sleepy."  
Just then, Hisagi upended a bowl of cereal, which made everyone jump with surprised expressions on their faces.  
Hisagi was put in charge of breakfast clean-up.

After breakfast, there was a rowdy, fukutaichou-led search for umbrellas, which resulted in a few bruised fingers and a very annoyed Nanao.  
The search was futile, and then there was a rowdy, fukutaichou-led argument about who should go and buy umbrellas, which resulted in a few bruisedegos and a very annoyed Soifon, who, upon listening in, decided that arguing about umbrellas was very immature indeed and must be put a stop to.  
In the end, Toushirou and Urahara were sent to buy umbrellas- Toushirou because he didn't mind the cold, and Urahara because he was the only one who knew where the store was.  
Until the two returned, Hinamori and Matsumoto experimented with the brewing of hot beverages on the gas stove- Yoruichi's plea for coffee was outvoted by tea and cocoa.  
She didn't mind. "The only coffee here is instant anyways", she said with a shrug.  
When Kisuke and Hitsugaya re-entered the house, they looked rather displeased and quite wet.  
"They only had 7 umbrellas in stock", muttered Hitsugaya, looking murderous. "The stupid clerk."  
"The cruel world conspires against us", sniffled Kisuke, plopping down on the sofa, looking tragic and insincere.  
"Hmm, maybe the rain will stop", said Hinamori, looking hopefully out of the window. There was a thunderclap and everyone jumped.  
Urahara stood up with a flourish. "Well, it's been lovely eating breakfast here and all but we really must catch the bus and be off to the store, mustn't we, Yoruichi?"  
"Suit yourself", muttered Yoruichi, looking ornery and holding a fishbowl-sized mug of hot cocoa. "You go ahead, I'll be here finishing this."  
Urahara shrugged and sneakily grabbed an umbrella before disappearing out of the door.  
"What the- HEY! He took an umbrella!" shouted Hisagi reproachfully.  
"Now we've got 6 umbrellas" said Nanao with a sigh. "And 10 people".  
Toushirou shrugged. "Well, I was planning to stay here and do some paperwork,"- a pointed glare at Matsumoto. She threw up her hands. "Okay, okay, I'll help you, fine, whatever. You're cruel, Taichou."  
Hitsugaya bared his teeth in a comical yet frightening way and went to find a writing implement.  
"So I guess that just leaves us 8", said Kyouraku, looking around at Unohana, Ukitake, Hisagi, Soifon, Nanao, Yoruichi, and Hinamori. Momo quickly removed herself from the group. "I think I'll just stay here and keep them company", she said quickly, taking her teacup to the kitchen.  
"Well, _I'm_ not sharing an umbrella with anyone", snapped Soifon, glaring at them all. "I don't even want one at all, but if I'm being forced to, I'm certainly not going to share."  
"I could share with Nanao-chan", said Kyouraku hopefully.  
"Not a chance!" snapped Nanao, brandishing a spoon threateningly.  
Unohana decided it was time to intervene. "This is certainly being turned into a big deal when it doesn't need to be. Ukitake-san and I will share an umbrella and everybody else will get their own, is that a problem?"  
Nobody disagreed with Unohana.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next half hour, the umbrella-clad visitors left the rental house to explore the town that they were vacationing in. It was a few kilometers away from Karakura Town and near the ocean. They had been hoping to spend time relaxing at the beach but, at the moment, the weather was making that impossible.

Soifon quickly ransacked every toy store in town looking for anything cat-related. Upon finding nothing worthy of her interests, she returned to the rental house and commenced to verbally abuse Urahara in front of a slightly shell-shocked Momo.

Kyouraku and Nanao, despite being under separate umbrellas, decided to head the same way. Nanao told herself that she was accompanying him as a chaperone, but her point of view changed when a gigantic gust of unfriendly ocean-storm wind took away her umbrella and she found herself sharing his.  
She found that Shunsui was decidedly comfortable to lean against while walking.  
They found a nice, quiet restaurant in which they decided was the sort of place that was perfect to have dinner.  
They even warned the staff that later that day, eleven rowdy adults would be dining there.  
This was Nanao's idea.

In the end, Yoruichi simply caught a bus back to the Urahara Shouten to help a disgruntled Kisuke with his shopkeeping.  
She wasn't sure why he kept moaning sadly as he changed around candy displays until he said "You deserted me for a mug of hot cocoa".  
Sometimes, she knew why there were quite a few who doubted his sanity.  
She reminded him sharply that he had deserted her but got no good answer.

Ukitake and Unohana strolled along the grey beach. Retsu discovered that her hand fit perfectly into Jyuushirou's, and they walked for a very long time, until they found a small restaurant and had lunch. It began to rain harder, so they caught a bus back. They arrived back at the house just in time to hear Soifon finishing her rant about Urahara's many 'disgusting and despicable' personality traits. They decided that this was overblown but that it would be safer not to comment.

Hisagi found a very nice cafe, sat down, and read the newspaper. He did a bit of paperwork, had a mocha, and went to a bookstore. He enjoyed all of this a lot, and wondered why normal days in the 9th division couldn't be more like this.

Matsumoto and Toushirou sat at the kitchen table, did paperwork, and tried not to listen to Soifon. Hinamori would occasionally wander into the room and then wander out again. At one point, she gave Toushirou a very nice back rub.

"Did somebody put something in Soifon's cocoa?" asked Kyouraku, sitting down on his bed and putting an ice-pack on his newly acquired, fan/book-shaped, very large forehead bruise. "I've never heard her talk so much at once."  
"Perhaps she's just lonely", suggested Hisagi, buttoning the collar of his new dress-shirt.  
"Hopefully the restaurant staff will have earplugs", said Kyouraku.  
Hisagi pointed out that when Kyouraku was drunk the staff would certainly _wish _they had earplugs. "Of course, I might be drunk too." Shuuhei pointed out, going down the stairs two at a time.

The group took a bus to the restaurant that Nanao and Shunsui had found. All of the employees looked slightly nervous when the eleven shinigami entered the building. They were escorted to a table at the back. Children's menus were delegated by a smiling waitress to Hitsugaya, Hinamori, and -inexplicably- Soifon. Urahara was snickering and making a snide remarks about height until Soifon creatively threatened to stuff the offending menu up Kisuke's nose.  
Before a full-blown brawl could break out, Kyouraku cleverly diverted the attention by asking everybody what sort of alcohol they intended to get. Matsumoto and Hisagi began to peruse the sake menu until Unohana suggested, with a gentle smile, "Perhaps nobody will get any drinks at this meal".  
In a mysteriously quiet and submissive way, the others agreed.


End file.
